Vote (Straight Democratic?!)

Today I found a flyer in my door. This was not unusual; I live in an apartment community where college students are most effectively fleeced by glossy color pizza ads stashed in the space just above the latch.

This was also not insulting, at first; the half-page aimed at my eyeballs provided a friendly reminder about early voting and a list of times and locations at which to perform the rite of civic duty.

The rest of the flyer was not so subtle. “Let’s keep [this county] the bluest county in [this state]!” Its author was nice enough to include an illustrated, step-by-step guide for first-time users of the electronic voting tablet. Have an excerpt:

  1. Use the SELECT wheel and ENTER button to enter the 4-digit code the clerk gives you. Your precinct number and ballot will apear.
  2. In vertain areas of town, you must vote in the Congressional special election before voting a straight Democratic ticket.
  3. Turn the SELECT wheel to vote a straight Democratic ticket OR to select your candidates.

Thanks for the help, guys. While you’re being so helpful, would you like to write my grocery shopping list for me? I hate making informed decisions.

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