How to order a pizza

“Oh my God, I’m starving to death and I think I’m going to die.”

“Let me help you there.”

“Should I have called 9-1-1?”

“We deliver food, so I think you made a good choice. Were you on hold a while?”

“About five minutes.”

“That’s good. We have about 50 people waiting.”

“Oh my God. They are going to die of starvation.”

“I hope not.”

“You’re still better than 9-1-1?”

“Oh yes. What’s your telephone number?”

“Five one two, six six nine, two two seven seven.”

“Are you Mr. Skelton?”

“Yes. I’m going to be the late Mr. Skelton very soon.”

“Okay. I’m just waiting for my computer to come up… Has the game started yet?”


“Yeah, the game.”

“What game?”

“You don’t know?”

“No. I’m dying here.”

“You don’t know about the game?”

“Who’s playing?”

“UT. How can you live in Austin and not know about the game?”

“Uh… they wear orange, right?”

“Rather than discuss this any longer, let me take your order.”

“I’m starving to death. What are the specials?”

“One medium one topping for $, two medium two toppings for $$…”

“I’ll take that. One Hawaiian, one with sausage.”

“We have mild sausage and hot italian sausage.”

“One of each. I’m dying of hunger here!”

–credit card transaction deleted–

“We should have that order out to you in about… um… an hour.”

“Oh my God, I think I’m dying right now. If I’m unconscious when they get here, will they feed me?”

“I hope so.”

“Good. I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

5 thoughts on “How to order a pizza

  1. I love that you give your phone number but won’t tell us how much the pizza cost. I hope you’re alive…

  2. hummm, It’s been a couple 0` days since this post Andy. I guess they either delivered to the wrong address and your slumped over your keyboard dead or they did deliver and you gorged yourself to the point of over eating and as a consequence your laid under your desk unable to move or ask for help…
    If the latter then just to let us know if your ok press any key.

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