Category Archives: Masonry

Good for a laugh in the morning

Creamy Filling, Masonry, ,

I bought a brand-new, old-fashioned, man-powered, arm-numbing, sweat-breaking lawn mower today. No fuel, no plug, pure fun. The blades don’t chop down the taller stuff so it’s a good thing that I also bought a trimmer. I mowed until it was dark so I don’t know how bad it looks but I’m sure it’s not good. I knew better than to mow the lawn after dark but I was having too much fun to quit. Every step made me appreciate that square foot of land.

“You ain’t no kind of man if you ain’t got land.” (Who said that?)

I’m sure the exhilaration of lawn mowing will wear off tomorrow morning when I try to finish the job and find my arms too heavy to lift.

The Need for Shelves

Bongos, Masonry, Wobble,

The burden of things is their need for space. Each thing must occupy its own space and no two things may occupy the same space. Waves are exempt but none of my possessions are waves. This is why I need shelves.

The burden of company is the same. Bodies are like things except they complain when stacked in the corner or strewn about the floors. At least, living ones do, and I don’t invite the dead. This is why I need sofas.

I learned how to tie my shoes when I was 22

Creamy Filling, Masonry, Wobble, ,

Don’t let the title fool you. Like any kid, I was taught to tie my shoes at a young age. I didn’t know a bowline from a Double Windsor and I sure didn’t know a square knot from a granny knot. I simply learned to do it the way I was taught. I wasn’t bothered by the fact that my knots never lasted more than a few hours. I had been taught to tie my shoes and my teacher had approved of my knots. Tying them this way several times a day had turned the knotting action into a habitual chore but its effortlessness kept it below my annoyance threshold for several years.

It was at the ripe and rebellious age of twenty-two that I finally got fed up with the constant need to re-tie my shoelaces. I was this close to buying Velcro shoes but I decided to make the effort to change my habit. It suddenly required great attention to tie my shoes but I found that I only had to do it once a day. After a few weeks I had altered the habit and it became easier to tie them in the new, more effective knot. After a month it was difficult to remember the old way.

Soon I discovered that I could remove and put on my shoes without untying them. I knew that some people did this and I had chalked it up to laziness. In fact, my inferior knots were seldom tied when it came time to step out of my shoes. My poor shoe-tying skills were the reason I never picked up the habit of stepping into tied shoes. With my new knotting habits came new shoeing habits and I began to step in and out of tied shoes. I had a pair of orange Saucony Jazz sneakers that stayed tied for years. I hadn’t tied them especially tightly. My new knots simply lasted longer than shoes!

If your shoelaces won’t stay tied, don’t commit to a double-knot until you have discovered exactly what kind of knot you’re tying. If it’s a granny knot with loops like mine was, try switching to a square knot. You just have to reverse the direction of the second twist. (You know, make the left bunny ear run around the right one for a change, or whatever does it for you. I don’t know from bunnies. Ask Ian.)