Stupid Kitchen Appliance

When my microwave oven reaches the end of its cooking program, it beeps just like any other microwave. Great.

Some engineer thought it would be nice if the microwave also gave a friendly message to the user: FOOD IS READY.

That’s just not right. How does a microwave know anything about cooking? How does an engineer?

4 thoughts on “Stupid Kitchen Appliance

  1. I believe our microwave back home does the same thing. It’s an outrage if you ask me. How does it even know I put food in there in the first place?

    Plan of action: toss a few office supplies in the microwave (salt and pepper to your liking), zap them for, oh, six minutes, and wait until that lonely beep comes around and you see that bastard of a message, FOOD IS READY. Then–assuming that the microwave doesn’t lie–eat your staples, brads, and White Out (salted and peppered to your liking). When you die, sue your microwave for everything she’s got!

    You can’t lose, Andy. You can’t!

  2. Had to chuckle when I read this post, Andy. It’s similar to the inane microwave we have at our office.

    One thing I wish microwaves had is an options panel where I could turn of the damn “HEY! YOUR FOOD IS READY!” beep that my unit has. It keeps beeping and beeping after the timer has stopped until you haul your ass over and open up the door or hit “stop”. If I’m in the middle of the big game or a great action sequence in a movie, the last thing I need is to have an appliance nag me to get the bag of popcorn I just cooked.

  3. Here’s one for ya, Andy: Here at The Institute we have a lamp that was built with a photo-cell. When it is too light in the room the lamp will shut itself off. Who the hell decided that a lamp should make decisions? Seriously, who? I have placed a strip of black tape over the sensor, but it still annoys me to know that the lamp is trying to “think.”

  4. Maybe we should at least be thankful that the machine is only going that far. I mean–really–wouldn’t you be a bit frightened if it started saying things like “FOOD IS READY BUT SUCKS” or “PLEASE LOVE ME”?

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